“I shall be ambitious to have it said of me, that I have brought Philosophy out of Closets and Libraries,Schools and Colleges, to dwell in Clubs and Assemblies, at Tea-tables, and in Coffee houses.” The Spectator 12th March 1711

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I am in a hearty mood this evening. On the advice of my Lord Chetwynd I sold my shares in the South Seas Company this very morning yet by noon their price was little more than nihil. In celebration of my good fortune, I partook of a most convivial luncheon at Will’s Coffee House. The conversation […]

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“Where there are many women, there are many witches” (Malleus Maleficarum, 1486)

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My Lords and Gentlemen, I have of late been in downcast mood. I was minded to accompany my Lord Godolphin to the matches at Newmarket.  No sooner than my bags were packed and loaded on the stage than his Man deliver’d to me a note written in his Lordship’s own hand. In it his Lordship had […]

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“Every heire is either a male, a female, or an hermaphrodite, that is both male and female” Sir Edward Coke, Institutes.

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As I related in my last essay, it had been vouched safe to me that a Mob had assembled in Whitehall demanding that My Lady Rowling be burned as a witch because she was heard to mutter in her sleep that God had created Men and Women. I must now relate what followed. After making […]

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“I shall see some squeaking Cleopatra boy my greatness I’ th’ posture of a whore.” Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, V.ii.215

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This morning I met Mr John Mottley on the Strand. He was in a black temper. After we had exchanged our good mornings and the intelligence of the day, I asked Mr Mottley why he was so dispirited. He explained that he had lost his contract with the Excise Office and now had to make […]

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“I me repente, If I mysspak.” Chaucer Troilus & Criseyde i. 934

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My Lords and Gentlemen, This morning I awoke with a sore head and I must again postpone the commencement of my Treatise. Yesterday, at Wills’s I fell into the companie of my old comrade at arms Colonel Fielding1Edmund Fielding, father of the novelist Henry Fielding who was known for his inveterate prodigality. That the Colonel […]

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“When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see” Shakespeare, Sonnet XLIII

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My Lords and Gentlemen, As I have previously informed you, it is my intention to write an explication of the Theory of Sleeplessness in a logical and scientifick manner. You will have noted too that no sooner do I embark on my Treatise than new examples of Wokery present themselves to distract me from my […]

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“What freezings I have felt” Wm Shakespeare, Sonnet 97

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My Lords and Gentlemen, I must digress again from my chosen path. While the causes and effects of the beliefs of those who embrace Wokery is to be the subject of my Treatise, I must draw to your particular notice one peculiar sect of the Proponents of Sleeplessness whose origins are distinct from their Wakeful […]

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 ἢν δὲ πολλῷ ᾖ οὕτερος ἀγεννέστερος, προσπίπτων προσκυνέει τὸν ἕτερον. Herodotus, Histories, 1.134

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My Lords and Gentlemen, You will recall that in my last essay I recounted a joke told by some men of Upminster about the womenfolk of Essex. I had thought that I had done little more than to record the mores and disrespectful nature of the plebeian element of that countie. On the contrary, I have stirred […]

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“For thogh we slepe, or wake, or rome, or ryde, Ay fleeth the tyme; it nyl no man abyde.” Chaucer, the Clerk’s Tale.

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My Lords and Gentlemen, I have been silent over the past few weeks. With His Majestie on the advice of his Ministers’ proscribing the customary seasonal Festivities in a manner not seen since the days of Oliver Cromwell and with the Foul Pestilence abroad, my spirits have been most downcast. The quarantine has created a […]

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“Unde sit infamis, quare male fortibus undis Salmacis enervet tactosque remolliat artus, discite causa latet, vis est notissima fontis” Ovid, Met. 4.285-7

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My Lords and Gentlemen, I have again annoyed the proponents of Wokery. I am seemingly unable to put pen to paper without being accused of the Sin of Slumbering. You will recall that at the front of my last short essay, I cited a short passage from that most amusing and saucy author, to wit,  Geoffrey […]

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