“I me repente, If I mysspak.” Chaucer Troilus & Criseyde i. 934

My Lords and Gentlemen,

This morning I awoke with a sore head and I must again postpone the commencement of my Treatise. Yesterday, at Wills’s I fell into the companie of my old comrade at arms Colonel Fielding¹Edmund Fielding, father of the novelist Henry Fielding who was known for his inveterate prodigality. That the Colonel is described as the Somnambulist’s “comrade at arms” suggests that they both fought together in the Duke of Marlborough’s wars and with the three bottles of gin which, with his customary generosity, he had purchased.

The Colonel is beset by troubles. He has lost much due to his investments in the South Seas Companie²The Somnambulist, on the other hand, appears to have profited handsomely: see the Somnambulist 10th August 1720. He has been reduced to disposing of his late wife’s estates to pay his creditor and his late wife’s mother has taken umbrage not only at this but at his taking as a new Wife a Papist³Fielding’s mother in law, Lady Gould, brought an action  in chancery to establish her right to custody of his children and the children’s right to what was left of the farm. Following the death of his first wife, Fielding courted Anne Rapha, a widow and a Roman Catholic with children of her own..

I considered that the least that I could do was lend the Colonel some comfort by keeping companie with him. Indeed,  it was my duty to assist the res publica by consuming the liquor which he has purchased: there is a surplus of grain in the nation and it must be put to good use⁴At this period it seems that Parliament actively promoted gin production to utilize surplus grain and to raise revenue. In 1685, consumption of gin had been slightly over one-half million gallons.By 1714, gin production stood at two million gallons.  In 1727, the official (declared and taxed) production reached five million gallons. That the Colonel was drinking gin suggests that he had insufficient funds to purchase heavily taxed French brandy. 

Before we had consumed the first bottle the Colonel vouched safe to me a most curious tale about the Followers of Wakefulness. It appears that there is a Town in Kent where each year a game of ball is played between the Men of Kent and the Kentish Men. It is well known that Men of Kent take much offense at being called Kentish Men. But it appears that in his sleep the tongue of Town Clarke became entangled and in a dream he was heard calling the Men of Kent, Kentish Men. The ears of Men of Kent were most offended by this misspeaking and the Clarke gave fulsome apologies. The Followers of Wakefulness were not satisfied and raised a hollowballoo and the Clarke has been made to resign his post.

Before I could ascertain the name of the Town or indeed the Clarke, we were joined by the Colonel’s cousin William Feilding, Earl of Denbigh. The cousins spent the rest of the evening debating how the family name should be spelled. I confess I do not know the judgement which they concluded or whether any was concluded at all⁵The argument appears never to have been concluded and indeed became a grudge. When asked by a later Earl of Denbigh why their names were spelled differently it is reported that Edmund’s grandson quipped, “I cannot tell, my Lord, except it be that my branch of the family were the first that knew how to spell”.. Indeed, I cannot recall how I made my way back to my Chambers. I pray you will forgive me, my Lords and Gentlemen, if I put down my quill and salve my distemper with a quart of claret.

I remain your humble and obedient servant,

The Somnambulist.