… quasi recens cognitis Liviae flagitiis ac non pridem etiam punitis, atroces sententiae dicebantur in effigies quoque ac memoriam eius … Tacitus, Ann. VI.2

/in /by

My Lords and Gentlemen1s Editor’s note: the quotation from Tacitus may be translated: “as if the offences of Livia were crimes but recently detected, not crimes actually punished long before, stern measures were advocated even against her statues and her memory”,

It is with no small measure of regret that I feel compelled to put pen to paper. The reason being, to wit, that there is a Mob of people abroad in the Land who share a common Intent and Purpose, viz. waking Britons from their peaceful Slumbers. They do so by a noisome caterwauling, loud jeering and the pulling down of ancient statuary. They demand not only that we should arise from our beds but also that we should join them in their Troublesome Endeavour. Whence does such an unGodly notion arise? It has been vouchsafed to me that the Idea that our fellow Countrymen should be thus deprived of their wholesome Sleep has originated in one of His Majesty’s Colonies in the New World.

In such circumstances, being a person of inquisitive nature, I shall with your gracious leave firstly inquire into the very Source and Origin of the Idea. Having done so, I shall secondly demonstrate by means of rational Explication that this curious notion, to wit, that General Sleeplessness is for the greater Good of our Common Wealth, is nothing less than an Aberration from Godly Decency brought about by Phrenzie. Indeed, I believe that such Phrenzie has not been seen in these Realms since the Irish Fright recently gripped His Majesty’s loyal Subjects in the year of the Glorious Revolution, viz., 1688 A.D. In the Third Part of my Treatise I shall shew that the cacophonous means by which the aforementioned Mob seek to rouse us from our slumbers is as ill-judged as it is ill-mannered.

While I humbly express the hope that my meagre words will please your fancy I have a foreboding that my Treatise will provoke outrage and condamnation from those who propound the Theory of Sleeplessness. I must say in plain words that my intent is neither to raise the ire of any Person of good Intent nor to offend the same. If my sentences sound satirical it is for the pure reason that I aim to provide amusement, in the manner of Dean Swift. If my utterances sound sententious it is not in the pretense of setting myself up as a stern schoolmaster who brooks no dissent but because needs must that I explain my Opinions as one Good Fellow to Another as did my old friends Messrs Addison and Steele.

But should there by any doubt, I declare that it is the Right of any of His Majesty’s Loyal Subjects to say what he should please however foolish and muddle-headed provided that his words are not Libellous nor Seditious and I write these words in exercise of such Right.

I remain your obedient and humble servant,

The Somnambulist

References   [ + ]

1. ↑ s Editor’s note: the quotation from Tacitus may be translated: “as if the offences of Livia were crimes but recently detected, not crimes actually punished long before, stern measures were advocated even against her statues and her memory”