“When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see” Shakespeare, Sonnet XLIII

My Lords and Gentlemen,

As I have previously informed you, it is my intention to write an explication of the Theory of Sleeplessness in a logical and scientifick manner. You will have noted too that no sooner do I embark on my Treatise than new examples of Wokery present themselves to distract me from my purpose or provide such additional matter for my Treatise that I must begin again. This state of affairs is most irksome. I am constantly disappointed in my hopes of writing a History in the manner of Thucydides whose explication of the causes of the Wars which beset his Citie have provided as much elucidation for the Scholar as they have provided misery for the Schoolboy.

This morning at Will’s, I was saying as much to my old friend Roger Sterne¹Probably the father of Lawrence Sterne. The inability of the Somnambulist to start let alone finish his Treatise find echoes in the younger Sterne’s The Life and Times of Tristram Shandy. There is no record of the younger Sterne meeting the Somnambulist but he appears to have been familiar with his works who has arrived from his estates in Ireland. Before Mr Sterne was able to express sympathy with my predicament, intelligence spread around Will’s that a riot was taking place at Drury Lane. On my further inquiry, Lord Glanville (who had announced the news) explained that the commotion had occurred on account of Miss Hester Santlow being overheard talking in her sleep. The Mob were outraged that the actress was heard to mutter that the new Mayor of New York in His Majesty’s colonies had been elected fraudulently and, still worse, expressed sympathy with the old Mayor.

I have heard that the former Mayor was a surly and uncouth fellow but why the proponents of Sleeplessness in London should be concerned about how any New York Mayor is elected or about the views of a mere actress thereon is something which at present confounds all reason. For my part, I would have thought that they should be more concerned about the electoral practices closer to their homes wherein I vouchsafe foul play and personation is rife. Perhaps, they take the view that unless and until an actress expresses a view on a matter it is of no concern to them. Or, perhaps, when candidates of whom they approve are chosen, it matters not to them what processes secure their election. Whichever is the correct supposition, it is a matter on which I will further inquire and expound in my Treatise.

Still, with the riot taking place so near to Will’s²Will’s was located on Russell Street which connects with Drury Lane I considered that it would be prudent not to venture out until the disturbance was quelled. Having settled myself in conversation with Mr Sterne, I was surprised when Mr Tonson arrived in an agitated manner. Mr Tonson is not a man who is much discommoded by a mere riot so I asked him what was troubling him whereupon he did vouchsafe to me the reason. He was to publish the work of a Mr Peterson, a man who has written instructive manuals about the many benefits to the constitution of sleep. Indeed, Mr Peterson considers that a full twelve hours sleep per noctem is curative of many common distempers. These views have enraged some of Mr Tonson’s printers. In their enthusiasm for Wokery they seek to silence all those who believe that slumber might be restorative of the humours. I replied that an even better restorative for the humours was brandy and I stood Mr Tonson a glass whereupon his equanimity was restored.  In such merry mood we agreed that each outrage perpetrated by the Proponents of Wokery was as good as an hundred further copies of Mr Peterson’s forthcoming work and, the riot having been dispersed, we toasted Sleeplessness before being on our separate ways.

I shall in due course describe the merits of Mr Peterson’s theories in critickal manner but in the meantime,

I remain your humble and obedient servant,

The Somnambulist